The Seven Stages of Parenthood

Stage 1: The Desire and the Longing

The first stage of parenthood begins when the desire for having a baby is born in the heart of one or both the parents. In most cases, it is the woman whose maternal instinct begins to assert itself. Women don’t feel complete until they become mothers. So, when the biological clock starts ticking, you decide to take the step of ‘making babies.’

Act 2: The Conception

The missed period - am I, aren't I? Soon confirmed by the morning trips to the bathroom to meet with you new acquaintances Ralph and Huey. But it is all worth it when you feel that first flutter - was that a kick? Was that his, you-know, on the ultrasound?

After some time you get used to those kicks that become more frequent by the day. There are times when the sheer physicality of it bogs you down. The backache, the swollen ankles and varicose veins make you wonder why you got into it in the first place.

Then, you feel the time has come. You reach the hospital puffing and panting, totally oblivious of what lies in store. It seemed it will never be over, yet when it is, it appeared to be over in a jiffy. The excitement of a baby makes you forget the pain as though it never happened at all.

Phase 3: A first time for everything

You go through an entirely new experience when you bring the baby home. The first few days/weeks are marked by sleepless nights, sore nipples, running around to get things done and dieting to lose all those extra pounds.

Each little step in the growth of your child is more exciting than anything you have ever known before, whether it is the first time she discovered her toe or the first time she sat for a few seconds. Then crawling, standing, walking, articulating something that resembled a word – everything is so exciting. You write it down in the baby book with pictures and all. You feel a sense of achievement that calls for a celebration.

Then you begin to sing nursery rhymes and tell bedtime stories

First kindergarten or school: a mixed blessing. Where did my baby go?

Stage 4: Friends and Peers

How fast they change from being cuddly babies to young, independent, school kids. In some English private schools they even wear a uniform with cap and tie (for the boys)!

You may not find her jokes very funny.

However, you do care about her best friend, and you are there for her at the time of the first rejection. Just as you were there for her when she came home with scraped knees in the playground and complained that ‘so-and-so was not fair!’

For a parent, it is a test of nerves to let them go, but you have to do that anyway. So, the sooner the better.

Stage 5 – Serious Schooling

Time to put the play aside for a moment. There's letters and sums to learn. For some, it is just a walk in the park, for others it is climbing Everest. It is at this time that the differences between children become apparent. Those with easy kids can't see what all the fuss is about, yet for others it is the beginnings of years of stress, worry, tears and heartache.

But, there are some things that become lifelong memories for all parents because each child is unique. Yet, each child is like all others when it comes to certain things like losing teeth or wanting Christmas presents for instance.

This is the time to teach discipline to your child because he is no longer a little baby.

Stage 6 – On the Eve of Adolescence

Boys and girls require different treatment when they are about to enter puberty. They are different in so many ways. Girls appear to be frivolous and boys pretend to be very smart, but both need special care to cross over the various changes happening in their bodies.

This is the stage when parents know nothing about the ‘in things’, be it in clothes, fashion or styles.

Language. Well cool.

Help her through her first bra, her first period, her lipstick and makeup, her awkwardness and so on.

Phase 7 - "Kevin goes Large"

The seventh stage is when the boys and girls are not so alien after all. They are drawn to each other.

Before you know where the time went you will see your little girl telling you that you know nothing. Indeed, you seem to live in a different world in an era long past.

It’s friends who matter and your relevance takes the back seat. There will be conflict of opinion; don’t lose your cool. And, above all, don’t recount what you’ve done for her. Be patient and pleasant. Be firm but try and understand her point of view and help her deal with peer pressure.

The good thing is that now your child is a new young adult and you can have a refreshing conversation with her. Make sure you don’t sermonize.

Then, one day, the fireworks settle. The grunts turn into English again and like a phoenix from the ashes, and new (adult) human emerges - full of ideals and dreams and visions, but perhaps a bit short on confidence and wisdom.

Phase 8 (well, who said I could count?)

One day, they will leave home! You need to prepare yourself for that day more than them. However, you love them just as much and you miss them.

Robert Munsch has put it rightly: "I'll love you, forever. I'll like you, for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" -

The years will pass so quickly. Make the most of every one of them along the way.

Article Source: http://publisherscloninghouse.com

Why not visit Dr. Noel Swanson's website and get hold of his excellent book The GOOD CHILD Guide, as well as more free articles about child behavior problems? For parenting tips visit here.
Feel free to grab a unique version of this article from the Unique Articles Submissions Service

Please Rate this Article 5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5  Not yet Rated

Click this Icon to Receive Adoption Articles Via RSS!